In addition, making a sleep schedule can improve sleep, mental health and even the relationship with your partner.
If you have watched "the dick van dyke show" or "i love lucy", you may notice that the bedrooms of the characters are different from what you see on TV today.
Due to the review of Hynes Code, in movies and TV programs, married couples can't sleep in bed at the same time, and some actors get married in real life. On the contrary, two single beds with separate bedside and drawer must be occupied by husband and wife. If the husband and wife lie in bed together for any reason, one of the actors must put one foot firmly on the ground so as not to make the audience have any thoughts.
Of course, old movies and TV programs will eventually distort these rules until they are broken. It's amazing to see imaginary couples sleeping in different beds now. It's even stranger to see them sleeping in different rooms.
Is this really the case? The research results show that sleeping separately is popular every day, which is led by millennials.
He discussed the concept named "unfortunate sleep divorce". She explained why we use new words in this epidemic and why many of us choose to sleep by ourselves.
What is a sleep divorce?
As soon as I hear the "sleeping divorce", I will think of the fixed concept that the wife drives her husband out of the sofa after the quarrel. This is why Dr. Alves likes to use terms such as "sleep separation" or "sleep instead of schedule".
Dr alves said: "We are talking about couples who consciously sleep in separate bedrooms, separate beds and different types of sleep."
This is a growing trend. According to the data of the International Household Products Association and the Sleep Improvement Organization, five couples in each couple sleep separately most or all of the time. So, why have we never heard such words?
Dr. Alves explained: "This is closely related to the word sleep divorce, as is the cultural concept of what a good relationship should be."
"Talking about sleeping away will cause a lot of shame, shame and shame," she said. "Fortunately, several artists have come forward and said that they want to sleep in other rooms with their spouses, so people can talk more easily, as if they are gradually returning to normal.
Why does everyone sleep separately?
Why do people in happy relationships sleep separately? In fact, there are many good reasons, but Dr. Alves said: "Most of them are sleep habits that can't be separated."
Maybe your spouse is working the night shift. You may temporarily handle the baby's food at 3 am. It may be the noise from cpap machine that keeps you awake. Or, if the other person wants to sleep, he needs a dark, quiet and cool room-and you need the opposite. Maybe one of you tossed and turned all night because of leg discomfort, insomnia, or other diseases. Maybe your partner will sleep like a man turning bread, and you will lose your family without a blanket. Family.
Different sleep patterns and preferences will also have a serious impact on the strongest relationship. This may be called a "sleeping divorce", but for many couples, choosing themselves alone actually strengthens the partnership.
The benefits of sleep divorce
Dr alves said, "Sleep is the foundation of our mental health." Studies have shown that improving sleep quality can improve depression, anxiety, stress, rumination and even mental illness. Therefore, it is not surprising that when we sleep well, we are better partners.
She added: "Research shows that if you have a good rest, your communication skills will be better, your interaction will be better, and your intimacy will be higher."
As we all know, babies who are too tired are often very picky and rude. The same thing happened to adults. If you don't get enough sleep, the inflammatory value will rise. This is bad news for our health. But we can also change our response to stress. Results: More conflicts, hostility, wrong decisions, and lack of compassion. Research shows that when we don't get enough sleep, we don't trust others very much!
In addition, when sleeping, introduce other methods that can improve health physically, mentally and interpersonal relationships.
You can get a private space. Sleep separation provides users with the opportunity to set the environment and schedule according to their needs. Time alone is very important in interpersonal relationships. Flying alone is short, but you can rediscover yourself and your interests. Maybe you can go to bed early, or come back to study before going to bed as before. It's time to take out your favorite doll from the warehouse. Whether you decorate your space, choose sleep music, or just temporarily enjoy the opportunity of "starfish", the opportunity to be "you" is very valuable to your mental health and partnership.
You have fewer quarrels. Think about it. You don't have to fight for the softness and firmness of the mattress. "It's been a long time since I slept on the podcast (ucc) that you hate. Debate about the advantages of eating in bed? They're officially over. Perhaps more importantly, the next time you find yourself in a bad mood, you don't have to worry that your loved one will be furious if he makes a mistake, don't you … it's nearby.
Your relationship is more meaningful. Pillows, warmth and sex are the right choices to make with your spouse when you don't share a bed. You can also better control how the other person thinks of you. Breathing in the morning and drooling at the bedside, you can say "no". For flirting, expectation and excitement, you can say "yes". Hope.
Disadvantages of sleep divorce
Sleeping separately has many advantages, but it is definitely not suitable for everyone or every spouse. Dr Albers explained the disadvantages of sleep separation.
Will weaken intimacy. Dr alves admits: "sleeping in other rooms can cause emotional distance or deviation." "There is a private life in the bedroom. Besides, although it is not the case, we can have a dialogue with each other.
It may do harm to your sex life. Although sleep separation has increased the romantic life of many couples, it is the opposite for other couples. Dr. alves said that even if it doesn't hurt your sex life, spoons, hugs and beatings are important in most relationships. If you don't want to get close, sleeping in another room will make the sunset shallow, prevent the conversation in the pillow and reduce your desire.
It may be expensive. Think realistically. Many of us don't have enough cash to fill the second bedroom. Even if we do that, many of us don't have a room to put all the expensive things away. Dr alves agrees. "Because there is no room for you to sleep better, sleep separation may not be your choice with your partner.
Or it could be a person. I didn't like to hear each other working for hours on the laptop next to me. However, sleeping alone now, you will find that you have actually missed the comfortable "click click". If you get used to having someone lying next to you every night, you will find yourself longing for less "my time" and more "our time". Time.
That may encourage anxiety. Because it is called "sleep divorce", it is natural for some people to feel uneasy about sleeping separately. Dr alves said: "this may send a signal of confusion." People can interpret separation as a problem or a sign of a problem in a relationship. For many people, sleeping in different rooms is a signal that the relationship is over. Others may be overwhelmed or make their own judgments because of the cultural shame of sleeping alone.
This may arouse cynicism and jealousy. To succeed in sleep separation, both sides should be satisfied with this arrangement and have the will to solve the problem. Without adequate communication, your sleep schedule may become the object of debate again.
How do you know when to discuss sleep divorce?
If you are not familiar with sleep separation, you will find it remarkable. How do you know when to consider this change?
Dr. alves said, listen to your body. And your spouse. Do any of you complain about lack of sleep? -It has nothing to do with recording time. Don't you feel like you have a good rest? Is irritability a problem? Have any of you ever said "I feel like a zombie"?
Dr. Alves said: "This is a dangerous signal that people don't get enough sleep for mental health." Enough for us to talk about sleep seriously. In a match, one side slept better than the other.
When asked about the most suitable sleep schedule for you, Dr. Alves gave advice. "Don't rely on habits, fixed image and expectations. Concentrate on doing effective and practical things at home.
Please remember: you don't need to be obsessed with sleep divorce. In fact, this is not just a story of sleep divorce. One of you (or two of you) should visit a health care provider for sleep research. It's time to think deeply about sleep hygiene and stress management.
No matter what decision you make, talking about sleep can't be one-off.
Carry out a trial run
If you and your spouse are considering changing your sleep state, Dr. Albers suggests that you wait until there is a large purchase or make a permanent change. Instead, think of it as an experiment and an opportunity to collect data.
"Ask yourself, how do you feel?" "She suggested." Will it increase sleep time and quality? "Be sure to take the time to discuss your findings. In order to supplement the intimacy that may be missed due to sleep settings.
Sleep is an important part of our life, and losing sleep will seriously damage our physical and mental health. It will have the same impact on romantic relationships. This is why more than one-fifth sleep alone. Although the name is a pity, many people think that sleep divorce is their relationship with their partners, and sex life is necessary.
"Sleep divorce" doesn't apply to all couples, but if you or your spouse suffers from lack of sleep, it's best to talk about it. Confirm whether you are talking to each other, and take time out of sleep time for intimate relationship.