Let's talk about cunnilingus

Let's talk about cunnilingus and how to embrace this sexual act.

We are discussing cunnilingus, a form of oral sex that involves the use of the lips and tongue on the vulva, often including lip-locking. It encompasses actions like licking, sucking, and kissing on and between the labia, with a primary focus on the clitoris.

While many people enjoy cunnilingus, some may feel uneasy discussing it or receiving it. In this article, we will share our top tips for receiving cunnilingus, and we might even mention some helpful tools like a mirror, paper and pencil, and even a tongue vibrator. However, let's begin by challenging the notion that oral sex is a significant taboo!

tongue vibrator

Popular conception of cunnilingus

The cultural portrayal of oral sex is interesting. While depictions of women receiving oral sex in mainstream media remain limited compared to their male counterparts, cunnilingus has experienced significant moments in various aspects, from challenging politics (it was illegal in some American states as recently as 2005) to its presence in religion and spirituality.

Interestingly, in Taoist practices, performing oral sex on a woman is viewed as a means to enhance one's longevity. A quick online search reveals that female oral sex has been portrayed in various forms, from feminist pop-art to 18th Century Japanese paintings.

In contemporary times, we have become more creative with our language. Cunnilingus goes by various names, such as "licking out," "going down," "giving head," "lip-synching," "cunning linguistics," "tongue lashing," and more – we have ventured deep into a world of oral delights.

Do people accept cunnilingus?

Certainly! Individuals with vulvas often experience a significantly higher likelihood of orgasm when engaging in cunnilingus, making the experience highly enjoyable. But why is this the case? Well, unlike vaginal penetration, cunnilingus offers precise clitoral stimulation, with its 10,000 nerve endings coming into play. This focus on the clitoris could be a key factor in bridging the orgasm gap.

As the recipient of cunnilingus, the experience revolves around our pleasure. Our partner's complete attention is dedicated to ensuring our satisfaction, with no expectation for us to do anything but relish the sensations. We don't even need to move a muscle.

It's no surprise that in an Australian study, a whopping 74% of women expressed a desire for oral stimulation. We believe this percentage could be even higher if it weren't for the presence of vulva shame.

How to do solo cunnilingus?

Solo cunnilingus can be a wonderful opportunity for self-exploration and a chance to foster a deeper connection with your vulva. Here are some suggestions for how to do this:

Observe Your Vulva: Find a quiet, comfortable time when you can be alone. Using a hand mirror or sitting in front of a full-length mirror, take a leisurely look at your vulva. You can use your fingers to explore the layers or simply take your time examining it, noticing the sensations of having your legs open and lips apart.

Get Creative: Express what you see artistically. Consider drawing what you observe. With the surge of vulva art on platforms like Instagram, this can be a beautiful way to celebrate the uniqueness of your body. Pay close attention to the various shades and textures, treating it as a map for your personal exploration.

Masturbate: Use lubricant on your fingers to replicate the texture of a tongue while exploring your entire vulva area with movements reminiscent of licking. If you're already accustomed to masturbating in this way, feel free to proceed.

Experiment with a Tongue Vibrator: When you feel ready, introduce a tongue vibrator into your solo cunnilingus exploration. Try different stroke patterns and pressures to mimic the sensations of oral sex. Combine the vibrator with ample water-based lubricant to ensure smooth movement across your body, tracing patterns and focusing on areas that bring the most pleasure.

Introducing a tongue vibrator into partnered sex is a great way to enhance your experience and show your partner how you like to receive oral sex. It can be an enjoyable part of the entire experience, and it can also help you both become more comfortable and excited about incorporating oral sex into your intimate moments.

It's important to remember that this kind of exploration doesn't have to be goal-oriented. There's no pressure to reach climax. Instead, view it as an opportunity to discover what areas of your vulva provide the most pleasure and to communicate your desires with your partner.

How to enjoy cunnilingus with your partner?

Receiving cunnilingus with a partner can be a deeply enjoyable experience, but it's important to communicate your desires and stay comfortable throughout. Here are some tips for making the most of it:

Relax and breathe: Remember to breathe and release tension. Relaxing into the moment can enhance your pleasure.

Use sounds: If you're not sure how to express what you like, use moans and groans to communicate your enjoyment. It's also a form of encouragement for your partner to continue what they're doing.

Guide with your hand: If you want to show your partner where it feels best, gently use your hand on their head. Always check in with them to ensure it's comfortable for both.

Explore other erogenous zones: While receiving oral sex, use your hands to touch other sensitive areas of your body, such as your mons pubis, nipples, and hair.

Engage your pelvic floor: These muscles can heighten your pleasure. Try squeezing your groin muscles or raising your hips from the bed for added sensation.

Combine with a finger or toy: If you desire both clitoral stimulation and vaginal action, ask your partner to use one or two fingers simultaneously or a G-spot vibrator. Minimal hand movement is needed, and it can provide G-spot pleasure without vigorous thrusting.

Ask for more wetness: Don't be hesitant about your partner's saliva on your vulva and clitoris. It can enhance sensations, so feel free to ask, "Can you add some more wetness?"

Consider a barrier method: If you are concerned about STIs or uncertain about each other's STI status, using a barrier method is a good idea. Dental dams, which are latex sheets placed over the vulva, can create a protective barrier. If you don't have one, you can make a dental dam from a condom by carefully cutting it open and creating a latex sheet. This can help ensure safer oral sex.

Best positions for cunnilingus

Exploring different positions can add a delightful twist to vulva-loving oral sex (commonly known as cunnilingus). Different angles and orientations can create a variety of sensations for both the giver and receiver.

Position 1: Straight-On Delight

In this position, the giver is positioned between your legs, creating direct access to your vulva.

How to:

  1. Lay on your back with your legs apart, leaving ample space for your partner's head to fit comfortably between them.
  2. To provide your partner with better access to your vulva, consider elevating your hips slightly in this position.
  3. This arrangement allows the tongue to make direct contact with the clitoris, where a multitude of nerve endings reside.

Sensitivity Level: This position offers a high sensitivity level, as it facilitates direct stimulation of the clitoris, which is rich in nerve endings.

Try the Sideways Sensation The next position, often referred to as the Kivin method, offers a unique angle that allows your partner's mouth to approach your vulva from the side, creating a different set of sensations.

Position 2: Side-On Excitement

In this setup, your partner's mouth is oriented perpendicular to your vulva.

How to:

  1. Begin by lying on your back, one knee bent to the side.
  2. Your partner will position themselves at a 90-degree angle on their belly, enabling them to approach your vulva from the side.
  3. They can support themselves by resting on their hands and knees to reach over or go underneath your bent leg.

Sensitivity Level: This position provides a medium sensitivity level, as the stimulation is spread across your vulva, targeting the sides of the clitoris glans and other areas.

Be in Control with the "On Top" Position The "On Top" position is all about you being in control and getting creative with your vulva-loving oral adventure. In this setup, your partner lays on their back, and you take charge by sitting on their face.

Position 3: On Top Excitement

This position gives you the reins and lets you steer the pleasure ride.

How to:

  1. Your partner lies on their back.
  2. You sit on their face, ensuring you have the best control and angles. A squatting position often works well, or you can use pillows for extra support while on your knees.
  3. Headboards can come in handy, too. Now, you're ready to enjoy the ride. Move your hips back and forth, in circles, or up and down while your partner works their magic with their tongue and mouth.

Sensitivity Level: The sensitivity level in this position is relatively low, though it depends on your preference and control. You have the power to adjust the pressure of your partner's tongue against your vulva and clit according to your liking. Giddy up!

Indulge in Simultaneous Pleasure with the 69 Position

The 69 position is the ultimate in simultaneous oral sex, offering a delectable experience for both partners. Whether you prefer licking, sucking, or kissing, it's all on the menu. Find a comfortable position that works best for both you and your partner. Here are some options:

  1. Head-to-Toe: One person lies on their back, while the other positions themselves on their knees above the first person's head.
  2. Side by Side: Both of you lay on your sides, facing each other's genitals.
  3. Higher Ground: One person rests on a higher surface, while the other bends down over them.

Sensitivity Level: The 69 position provides a medium sensitivity level, and there's a lot happening in this intimate exchange. The intensity can also come from the excitement of giving oral while receiving, creating an exhilarating experience for both partners. Enjoy the ride!

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